Premium Tears by Collins Sakwah Ongoma
When my friend gave me this book to read, I was almost sure I might not. It seemed huge, and after reading the first page, I did not want to keep going. After all, who wants to read old-age stories about arranged marriages between selfish parents who want to ensure their company survives after their demise without being concerned about their children’s love references? I was wrong to prejudge this text. It is one of the books I would want to read more than twice since its content is quite relatable after the first page, and the language is interesting enough to captivate the reader's attention up to page 408.
You might have encountered the caption "premium tears" or "premium tears loading" for a love relationship, but your friends thought it could not work. Collins understood the meaning of the phrase and expressed it efficiently through characters like Aiden, Clara, Zuri, Nduati, Kinoti, Mr. Mungooti, Professor Abednego Walubego, Luwi, the South African exceptional beauty, Mrs. Lerato.
Collins's ability to relate his content to the current dynamic lifestyles, especially in Kenyan universities, is adorable. His story concerns a complicated love story from a poor boy (Aiden) of Eldama Ravine and Zuri, whose mother is an American. Her father is a Kenyan (Nduati). Originally, Nduati agreed with Kinoti to have their children (Zuri and Abednego) marry when they came of age to continue the management of Kinondua Housing Solutions, a Real Estate company they had partnered to begin. While Zuri's beauty is undeniable, Abednego is a “real man” and had married a South African woman before meeting his supposed childhood wife, Zuri. Mr. Kinoti arranged for him to be a lecturer at Dolvale University, a private institution where Zuri was studying. Aiden, the poor, hustling with a well-built body due to working at a construction site, thwarted these marriage plans.
Collins posits that it is impossible to advise a girl in love. Zuri does not heed any person advising him against befriending Aiden. Aiden was a talented Rugby player, and Zuri had a thing for such men. He was under probation to determine if he was worth a scholarship at Dolvale and became a janitor to complement his stay at the expensive private university. A moment of truth revealed that he was Uncle Sam’s biological son. In addition, Abednego had a wife and a child in South Africa, while Kinoti had taken a lump sum loan using the company's name (P 209). A quick turn of events also revealed that Mr. Mungooti, Dolvale's director, had adopted Luwi, who was born after Kinoti raped one of his domestic workers. The latter was then working as the director's secretary. Ideally, Aiden's poverty attracted Kinoti, who wanted revenge against Nduati for taking a woman he once loved, Zuri's mother. Kinoti's underestimation of Aiden's loyalty to Zuri was his downfall and led to his arrest by the government, with numerous criminal cases over his head.
However, I find the author's hate for Clara immense, although it is still relatable. A few examples of words used to describe Clara are degrading. For instance, he compares her feet size to that of a mature Tilapia (page 63). In addition, Collins notes that "Clara had become as useless to Luwi as the push-up bra she was wearing to hold in place breasts that she barely had." She was also involved in extra-marital affairs with the professor to secure good grades and become pregnant to secure her financial future. Further, she was involved in shoplifting and petty theft. Worst still, she opted to pay a taxi driver through sex since she could not afford 200 Ksh for the fare. Clara was a social media influencer with 10k followers on Instagram and had to match her viewers' expectations. The notion of premium tears is more evident in her case.
Besides Clara's case, Collins uses additional humorous language that hilariously excites the readers' imagination. The context of Kenyan universities has its good and bad sides and has enabled Collins to use a language that a vast population of readers can relate to. Some of his phrases must be noticed. For example, "you know how Kenyan ladies' ovaries twerk when they learn that the man they are talking to ain't Kenyan and is holding car keys and an iPhone." (p 19). Also, a Swahili saying, "hata message ya mpenzi iwe tamu aje, ila haishindi ya M-pesa." is exciting for readers who understand the language.
Reading this only once cannot quench my thirst for reading real-life stories expressed through intriguing language to match the Kenyan context. The language is entirely emotive, and premium tears await readers who take Zuri's quest for love personally. It is a must-read to understand how girls trap men with pregnancies and determine if the old "rich girl, poor boy" love stories still apply.
